Paulo Daemonia
by FullmetalReborn
Summary: /Babysitter Craig/ Craig Tucker failed to realize he had just become the role model and friend of the four worst troublemakers in South Park. Without even knowing or meaning to, Craig kissed his boring and uneventful life goodbye.


A/N: **I'm starting another fandom fix, what is wrong with me. Anyways, South Park is amazing. So here is my story. It might be yaoi, this will be a heads up. I thought this idea up and decided to make it a little series sortof thing, where I add episodes or chapters regarding a certain event for the boys and Craig.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters used in this story, everything belongs to the amazing creators of south park.**

**Enjoy~!**

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"We are so glad you could make it, Craig!"

Craig Tucker, age 15, stared up at Sharon Marsh, her brown curls cropped short with a nice tint of make up on her young face. Staring at the house in front of him, he made a quick note of the number of windows, not to mention the small heads peering at him from the upstairs bedroom.

"The pleasure is mine, Ms. Marsh." His blank tone gave nothing away, the formalities were already engraved into his teenage mind. Getting what you want was never that easy once you reached a certain age. He learned very quickly that woman liked to be talked to politely and he'd get something in return he couldn't have otherwise.

"Well, Ms. Broflovski, Ms. McCormick, and Ms. Cartman want me to thank you. We will be home a little late. Our phone numbers are on the fridge and emergency lists as well. I'm sure the boys will be easy to handle." Ms. Marsh fastened one of her earrings, wearing a beautiful silky black dress as she hummed, wondering what else she had to mention to him. "Ike and Karen are a little scared of new people, they will sleep with their brothers. Shelly really didn't want to babysit so she will be locked up in her room... Again. Oh!" Sharon walked to the kitchen, Craig following her aimlessly as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a few things. "I have Lasagne ready, just put it in the oven for about a half hour at 375°."

She continued to list things, not noticing she had put the large pot into the oven herself. Well, whatever made Craig's job easier. When she finished, she ran upstairs to kiss her boy good bye and she was gone.

Craig sighed lightly, looking towards the stairs where a few eyes were peeking at him again. He wasn't sure who was who yet, but he knew exactly what he was dealing with.

They were a famous little group after all. If something strange happened in the small quiet town of south park, these kids were right smack in the middle of it. No one ever babysat them, they always ended up annoyed, going insane or somehow getting dragged into their plots of destruction, as his best friend Clyde put it. Clyde had babysat them some time ago, Clyde was scarred for life. The kids had snuck out under his watch and appeared on a reality T.V show. How the fuck they managed that, Craig had absolutely no idea. They were usually referred to as Stan's gang, and Stan was the one who had walked down the stairs first to inspect him. They were small for eight year olds, but the childish innocence that burned in all of their eyes made Craig want to cringe.

Stan's bright blue eyes looked at him, a mature tint in them as Craig leveled his emotionless stare on him. Something told him had Stan been his age, they'd have a hard time getting along. The boys beanie was missing, showing messy black locks and his jacket discarded. The house was relatively warm after all. It would only get more warm as the night progressed, the oven was on after all. The one that followed him down after was still wearing all his cold winter gear, a green hat on his head as emerald green eyes shinned with curiosity and an intelligence Craig wouldn't be able to understand. He bumped into Stan, starting a hushed argument as Craig resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Taking a breath, he broke the tense silence between him and the kids. "Names Craig, your parents won't be home till tomorrow, the lasagne is in the oven it will be done in half an hour. Don't sneak out, don't start some stupid conspiracy, ah, and no phone calls."

They had also went to his friend Token and no one knew how the fuck they managed to engage a fucking war with fucking North Park over phone calls from Token Blacks house. Token was still working that off with his parents to this day.

With that said, Craig returned to the kitchen, hearing a few more thumps as the rest of the kids followed after him. His friends wondered why he took a job like this. It was well known in their clique how Craig loved boring and simple despite being a very large troublemaker. Mixing himself up with the towns worst trouble makers was something completely not Craig like unless one of the others pressured him into it or he owed a favor to someone. But it wasn't anything major or a blackmail type of thing.

Craig had his eyes on money. He had seen a jacket last week when he and his group of friends escaped South Park to go to a bigger town's shopping mall, thanks yo rich Token Black's fucking car. The jacket was nothing special, but the object that came with it is what Craig strived for. After his dad declared that if Craig wanted something he should 'fucking work for it.' Craig needed the cash. With four mothers paying him handsomely for the hour(except Ms. McCormick mainly because he wasn't a complete asshole) he would have the exact amount he needed. He would put up with the craziness if he could get his hands on that jacket.

A burst of crying brought him back to reality as he looked up from the drinks he was pouring for the kids. Looking into the door way of the kitchen, holding an empty cup he saw whom he assumed to be Ike crying his eyes out.

"God damn it, fatass! What the fuck did you do that for?!"

Well, let the craziness begin.

"Ay! Don't touch me you fucking Jew!"

"Cartman, its Ike! What the heck would he have done?!"

There comes Marsh to the rescue.

Cartman looked ready to rant, Craig would save himself the headache as he walked in, bending down to grab the sobbing and wailing toddler. Eric Cartman was a spoiled kid, no father and a mother who spent her time sucking off other men. He was missing his beanie, his red sweater covering his small plump body. His cheeks were red from the anger that had bubbled into his system. The ones who still had to say something from the time he had first arrived there were a little ways off, Karen holding her older brothers arm tightly with tears in her eyes.

Kenny McCormick had his wide blue eyes in view, but they told Craig nothing considering eyes were the only thing he could see. Seems even in this heat, the blonde refused to shed the parka.

"Cartman, back off, he's a damn toddler. Stan, turn on the T.V and everyone take a seat." Craig said it sternly, emotionless but with enough authority for them to go do what he asked, Cartman was reluctant, but Craig sent a dark glare, warning him that if he disobeyed Craig would not be happy.

He took Ike to the kitchen. He patted Ike's back, handing him a juice box just as the toddler stopped his crying. Craig might have a bad reputation but he had a younger sister and knew exactly how to deal with kids. He didn't hate them, but he didn't exactly like them. Walking back into the room, everyone was seated and Ike was deposited on the seat besides Kyle who was eyeing Craig suspiciously.

Needless to say under Craig's care it was a very uneventful night. The boys ate dinner, Craig washed dishes as they played a game of make a fort in the living room. Eventually Karen and Ike grew weary which signaled Craig it was close to bed time. He left the mess, deciding he'd clean up after they all fell asleep. The kids had been so focused, it wasn't a surprise when they smashed a few pictures down, the living room in tatters. Karen in his arms, the boys argued the whole way to the bedroom.

"You did not fucking win fatass!"

"I know! You cheated!"

"I did not! Don't be sore losers!"

"Ack! God damn it, didn't Cartman cheat, Craig?!"

Craig raised an eyebrow curiously at Stan who addressed him. They waited eagerly for his response as Kenny opened the door and Kyle led his half asleep brother into the bedroom.

"I'm not getting into this, just have a rematch in the morning. For now, get your asses in there and shut up so Karen and Ike can sleep." Karen was passed out, her warm breath on the crook of his neck as he shuffled her. The beds were set up, only one with a group of sleeping bags on the floor for the boys. He laid Karen down on the bed, Ike taking a moment before opening his arms wide for Craig to pick him up which meant he was getting a little attached. He did as told, picking the small Canadian boy up and rocking him lightly.

"But we aren't tired." Cartman replied, the boys shuffling into pajamas. Kyle shed his hat, the mass of red hair making Craig smirk in amusement. Naturally they didn't notice, which was a good thing.

"Then I'll tell you story, pick something out, get into bed."

They looked at him faces clearly saying a story was the lamest thing he could think of and he admitted with reluctance that it was actually the lamest thing he could think of. If anything he could have moved a T.V. into the room but he did not want to wake Ike and Karen and have cranky kids for the rest of the night. When Ike was successfully unconscious, he put him on the bed with Karen before he dropped down on the floor by the bed, looking at all the eyes staring at him.

"We don't have books here. So tell us a story, if you can't we get to go downstairs."

Craig quirked an eyebrow in amusement at Stan's bargain. They really were weird kids. "Jeez, you really do mess with babysitters. Let's see..." He trailed off, trying to think of something that could be exciting and a pretty good story. Considering the group did a lot of stuff, he couldn't possibly top it. But hey, he could try, he didn't want them going back downstairs and screaming at each other and breaking more things. He decided to go with gossip to satisfy them. "You guys know Mr. Mackey?"

Content he had their attention at the mention of their counselor he proceeded to tell a story that he knew these kids would enjoy. Troublemakers had a connection and Craig would be a liar if he said he didn't cause trouble to the beloved counselor. Heck, he still caused trouble for him. "Well, he was caught with some drugs when we had him as a teacher, a few friends of mine decided we'd mess with him. He came back from rehab and we 'spiked' his drink." He added quotation marks to emphasize his point. "Mackey thought he was high, he climbed the flag pole in front of the elementary and stripped, stating he wanted to be the flag."

"No way!" "

Liar!"

"Gross!"

He couldn't hear Kenny's response but the boy did loosen his parka so Craig could view the boys mouth that gaped in probably disbelief.

"I don't lie, we didn't get caught but we did take a fuck load of pictures."

"Aw man dude! We should totally do that on Monday."

They set out on talking rapidly. Content, Craig leaned back, head against the side of the bed as he stretched. "Alright, I gossiped, now get to bed, don't wake up the others too."

They gave him a chirpy 'yes' and something told Craig he did something he would come to regret. He left the whispering kids in favor of picking up the mess they made. Craig Tucker failed to realize he had just become the role model and friend of the four worst troublemakers in south park. Without even knowing or meaning to, Craig kissed his boring and uneventful life goodbye.


End file.
